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Chuck Norris Jump Kicks onto the Loon Band Wagon

I liked Chuck Norris. I really did. I can still remember the scene from Invasion USA where Chuck heroically saves a school bus of innocent children from a dastardly terrorist bomb plot. Oh, how we look up to our childhood heroes! How we admire their selfless bravery! But alas, the truth is stranger than fiction.

I once thought Mr. Norris was pretty level headed when I heard him challenge Steve Emerson on Fox News, saying:

Don’t you believe that only 2% of the Muslim world are extremists? That 98% of the Muslims want, believe that the Koran teaches a tolerance for other religions?

That’s my hero! So understandably I was quite surprised and disappointed when I saw Mr. Norris’recent article published on the notorious conspiracy mongering website, World Net Daily, a.k.a. the “biggest, dumbest wingnut site on the Web.” For those of you unaware of the site’s “journalistic standards,” WND editor and CEO Joseph Farah admits the site knowingly peddles misinformation if it supports their political goals. And this is the absurd context in which Chuck Norris has chosen to warn Americans about the alleged pernicious influence of American Muslims.

Chuck begins by paying homage to the uncontestable dogma of the anti-Muslim conspiracy movement:

There’s no mystery that radical Islamists intend to use the freedoms in our Constitution to expand the influence of Shariah law.

And what is Chuck’s smoking-gun-proof for sounding the alarm? None other than the completely paranoid and discredited book, Muslim Mafia, authored with the help of David Gaubutz, an anti-Muslim crazy who claimed in all seriousness that he found Saddam’s WMD, that President Obama is a “crack head,” and who belongs to an organization claiming White Christians deserve special distinction for creating America. Gaubatz is the former employee of the rabidly racist hate group, Society of Americans for National Existence (SANE), who promoted blatant anti-Muslim bigotry on their website:

Whereas, adherence to Islam as a Muslim is prima facie evidence of an act in support of the overthrow of the US. [sic] Government through the abrogation, destruction, or violation of the US Constitution and the imposition of Shari’a on the American People…It shall be a felony punishable by 20 years in prison to knowingly act in furtherance of, or to support the, adherence to Islam.

So this is the inSANE man whose work Chuck recommends for reliable information on Sharia law. Not exactly befitting a Texas Ranger, I must say. But then Chuck has the brassiness to claim he welcomes Muslims:

First, let me categorically state that I’m not an Islamaphobe. I welcome the plurality of religions in America and am a firm believer in the First Amendment.

Chuck, you say you are not an Islamophobe, so why are you citing one? Why do you get your information from a racist Islamophobe? Why are you arguing that Americans should fear normal law-abiding Muslims? Honestly, I think (I hope!) Chuck means well in his heart of hearts, but it should be clear here that he has been thoroughly duped by WND’s orchestrated misinformation campaign, only a modest part of which are Islamophobic conspiracy theories.

Anyhow, after admitting that there is a plurality of interpretations of Sharia Law, from ultra-conservative to ultra-liberal, he then proceeds to contradict himself by essentializing (generalizing) about Sharia in the most negative way, saying:

The main point here is this: Where Muslim religion and culture has spread, Shariah law has shortly followed.

Of course, many Americans watch on video a Middle Eastern woman allegedly caught in adultery, buried in the ground up to her head and being stoned to death, and think, “That could never happen in America.” But they fail to see how Shariah law has already been enabled and subtly invoked in our country, and that any such induction like it is brought about by understated lukewarm changes, like a frog boiled in a kettle by a slow simmer.

Thus, Chuck thinks that we should be afraid of “Muslim religion and culture” because “Sharia law” will surely follow. According to him, the essence of Sharia law is stoning women, yet he seems not to realize that stoning laws are not found in the Quran (the primary source of Sharia law) but, ironically enough, stonings are explicitly and repeatedly endorsed in his own holy scriptures:

Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father’s house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

[Deuteronomy 21:21]

(See also Leviticus 20:2, 20:27, 24:16, 24:23; Deuteronomy 13:10, 17:5, 21:21, 22:23-24; Numbers 15:36; Joshua 7:25; and 1 King 21:10)

That’s somewhat like the pot calling the kettle black, no?

Before you know it, the Moozlims will start stoning American girls left and right, up and down, all around the town! Back in reality, however, the truth is that if stonings ever take place in America, they are much more likely to be carried out by our own homegrown Christian dominionists.

So if America is on the brink of destruction due to Sharia law, what is the proof? Chuck cites three bogus examples, all of which are actually proofs against his argument. As Tim Murphy of Mother Jones explained:

Of course, each of these points has its self-refuting flaws. Judges turn cases over to pre-selected religious arbitrators all the time, for instance, and not just for Muslims. None of the state legislators in question have produced a single example of Sharia being forced upon their states. And as for the argument that Sharia has been “oversimplified,” I would just point you to the fact that a quasi-mulleted martial arts actor from the mid 1990s feels qualified to explain to a national audience what Sharia is.

It only makes sense if you give weight to the fanatic conspiracy theories at WND. Apparently, for an aging action star, kooky internet goons are better sources of information than peer-reviewed scholars who spend years actually studying these things under other peer-reviewed scholars. Regardless, Mr. Norris intends to publish more articles on this topic, most likely including the same misunderstanding of basic facts and logic. We’ll be looking forward to see what he comes up with.

What happened, Chuck? You were such an American hero. You were MY hero.

Why did you decide to jump kick it on the Loon Band Wagon?

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  • Sam Seed

    My money is on Bruce “Don’t look at the finger” – he kicked Chuck’s ass.

  • corey

    if anybody needs to be added to a fighting game roster weather its mortal kombat or blazblue its those two guys, or put them up as hidden summons in an rpg now that would be awesome.

  • Dawood

    That has to be one of the most awesome training scenes in history! :D I’d heard of the movie but never seen it. Man, who needs karate chops when he could just stare… and his hands don’t bleed right until the end. What a hero – no wonder he could save the world!

  • corey

    that is a scene from the movie “the man who saves the world” or as it is called “turkish star wars” because of its use of stock footage from the star wars movie and stock music from other american films such as Indiana jones, it was a movie made during a time in turkey when american films were hard to come by and the reason for the stock footage. But if you watched this film don’t worry if you are baffled by what is going on a comedy troupe has stated that “it does not make any sense in turkish either” while on that subject here is the badass and his partner training,http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3uAUp6FjgM

  • Solid Snake

    @Superpowerarsenal,

    (old snake MGS music plays http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVK-Z4G–FE)

    (turns away)

    Snake: No Superpowerarsenal, Im no hero…I’m just an old killer….

    Otacon: Well, arent all muslims just killers…
    (music stops)

    Snake:……..(awkward silence)

    @corey, how the hell did u come across that vid LOL HES so cheesy he might actually have a chance against chuck!

  • Lena Rose

    Someone should tell Chuck Norris his beard is “shariah-compliant”…. ;)

  • Zak

    You liked this guy? lol

  • Superpowerarsenal

    @Solid Snake

    Well Snake at least we still have you. Think you can get Kratos to come along? He must be bored out of his mind after killing his father… and ending the world…

  • Adam

    @ Dawah Films

    While i like your youtube channel, gotta disagree with you on the martial arts angle.

    Chuck trained in different styles long before training with bruce lee. Bruce lee himself also admitted to have gained an appreciation of high kicks from chuck norris.

    Chuck simply stated a few facts about bruce lee some former students pointed out. Bruce lee wasn’t a martial arts god.

    Let me put it like this: Bruce Claims to have won many fights based on hear say. While Chuck norris’s full contact kick boxing matches are on public record.

    Problem is, chuck norris, despite his extreme political views and obvious disdain for the muslim ummah, has proven himself as a martial artist time and time again.

    He’s a BJJ brown belt with the Machados.

  • Anticipated Serendipity

    @RDS
    Violence is not the only problem that faces the world. The MB has ultraconservative views when it comes to women’s rights and the rights of religious minorities under what they believe to be “Islamic” rule. The MB recently stated that a woman or a Christian could never be the leader of “Islamic” Egypt. Preventing women from voting is not violent but it is something that we shouldn’t be tolerating nonetheless. I’m not saying the MB hopes to renounce women’s suffrage I’m just giving an example of some non-violent yet nonetheless detrimental things that the MB can bring about and to an extent have already considered; Pakistan’s Hudood Ordinance regarding rape comes to mind.

  • http://www.whyislam.org jawad

    the real thing people should be afraid of is not Shariah law…..its Chuck Norris law.

  • corey

    snake I think I know who might stand a chance against him he such a badass that whenever he fights indianna jones music plays in the background to soothe his godlike anger, and star wars footage plays randomly in order to contain his awesomeness that can potentially destroy the world, and he powers up his attacks by hopping http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tx7PYAAOwxE.

  • RDS

    @AS: I read that the document was more to the effect of, “We have so many Muslim organizations in US, if only we all could band together.” I think it’s either here or from a linked article in here.

    Also, MB has long since denounced violence and sought their goals politically and through legal means. It’s the ones using violence that we should be wary of.

  • Anticipated Serendipity

    Thanks for clearing that up. I didn’t think the MB was operating in the US and I find the organization, just like all Islamist organizaions, to be quite nefarious and objectionable.

  • http://www.youtube.com/dawahfilms DawahFilms

    Chuck has been a douche for awhile now. He’s been a douche ever since he publicly dissed Bruce Lee despite being trained by him.

  • Anticipated Serendipity

    Lol, *CAIR not care.

  • Cynic

    * hopes

  • Cynic

    It to my knowledge, the sincere hopped of one random MB member who was sending a letter back to his buddies.

  • Anticipated Serendipity

    No it was like an entire list. I’m “muslamic” myself I’m just curious. It had a list of various stages of the “jihad” to takeover America. Was it real? Because if it was the MB conspiracy theories may not be as far-fetched as most people initially thought. Apparently it was pretty top-secret, didn’t care try to file a lawsuit to have it covered up?

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