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Move Over Zagat: The NYPD Guide to Newark’s Best Muslim Restaurants

Restaurant Jihad

Tasty Eats or Stealth Jihad?

Lots of tasty stakeouts…and there’s even a Dunkin Donuts!

The NYPD Zagat Guide to Newark’s Best (and Most Threatening) Muslim Restaurants

Cross-posted from Gawker

Last night, the AP broke the news that the New York Police Department had spent months spying on Muslims in Newark, N.J. “The result was a 60-page report,” AP reporter Adam Goldman writes, “containing brief summaries of businesses and their clientele.” But was it a surveillance file… or just a guide to Newark’s best Muslim restaurants?

“Such surveillance has become commonplace in New York City in the decade since the 2001 terrorist attacks,” Goldman rightly points out. “The documents obtained by the AP show, for the first time in any detail, how those efforts stretched outside the NYPD’s jurisdiction.”

But as he himself acknowledges, “[t]he report cited no evidence of terrorism or criminal behavior.” Indeed, it’s just “a guide to Newark’s Muslims.” Nothing creepy about NYPD spending months monitoring Muslims outside their jurisdiction, at all. And what could be more helpful to the aspiring gourmand than a handbook of the best Halal joints in Newark? With that in mind, we’ve re-arranged some of the dry NYPD “notes,” Zagat-style, to bring you: The NYPD Guide to Newark’s Best Muslim Restaurants.

Newark Fried Chicken
942 Broad St., (973) 824-1780
Yelp Rating: No rating.

NYPD says: A “medium size fast food restaurant” with “fried chicken, pizza and cold drinks” on its menu, Newark Fried Chicken is said to be “in good condition,” with “seating for 10 to 15 customers.”

*****

Kansas Fried Chicken
183 Market St., (973) 242-8844
Yelp Rating: No rating.

NYPD says: This “medium size takeout restaurant” is known for its “fried chicken, pizza and cold drinks.” “Location is owned by persons of Afghani descent,” notes one reviewer.

*****

Mecca’s Halal Restaurant
4 Branford Pl., (973) 824-5600
Yelp Rating: Four stars. (“Shockingly good,” writes Andrew B. of Evanston, Ill.)

NYPD says: A “small restaurant” “in close proximity of Islamic Cultural center” “owned and operated by African-Americans,” Mecca’s Halal Restaurant gets another thumbs-up from our reviewers. It “has seating for 10-15 customers” and “serves Halal food.”

*****

Amin’s Halal Restaurant
57 William St., (973) 621-1111
Yelp Rating: Three and a half stars. (“Very clean,” says Jeff M. of Jersey City, N.J.)

NYPD says: Our reviewers say Amin’s Halal Restaurant, “location below the former Muhammads Mosque” (now closed), is “medium sized” and “owned and operated by Muslims of Chinese descent.” “During visit 3 African Muslim males and an Egyptian male customer were observed dining within,” writes one reviewer. Wild!

*****

Dunkin Donuts
806 South Orange Ave., no phone number
Yelp Rating: No rating. (Average rating of Newark Dunkin Donuts: Three and a half stars.)

NYPD says: “Good condition,” observes one reviewer, who notes that the “store… has a capacity for 15 to 20 customers.”

*****

Utah Fried Chicken
653 Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., (973) 792-1993
Yelp Rating: No rating.

NYPD says: Convenience is the name of the game at Utah Fried Chicken, which our reviewers note is “in close proximity of Masjid Rahman.” One drawback: the restaurant is “small.”

*****

Detroit Fried Chicken and Pizza
685 Springfield Ave., (931) 375-0013
Yelp Rating: No rating.

NYPD says: Come to Detroit Fried Chicken and you might be welcomed by its owner, “Egyptian male,” who’s set up “seating for approximately ten customers” right “next door to Masjid Al-Haqq.” “Fast food restaurant,” writes one reviewer, with what we imagine to be enthusiasm.

*****

West Indian American Halal Restaurant
347 Sandford Ave., (973) 373-7333
Yelp Rating: No rating.

NYPD says: “Poor condition” at this restaurant “owned and operated by persons of West Indian descent,” lament our reviewers. Nevertheless, it “has seating for 8-10 customers” and “is in close proximity of Masjid Fallahee… and Al Muslimaat academy.”

*****

Jordan Halal Restaurant
1008 South Orange Ave., (973) 399-7980
Yelp Rating: Four and a half stars. (“Great breakfasts,” writes Karol R. “OMG I would come here everyday if I could!!!!” adds Candy B. of Newark.)

NYPD says: Options for “takeout and dining in” at this “small restaurant” “owned and operated by persons of Jordanian descent.” But be aware that it is “small.”

*****

Chicken Holiday
1036 South Orange Ave., (973) 373-2009
Yelp Rating: No rating.

NYPD says: Reviewers didn’t have much to say about this “small size takeout location” “owned and operated by persons of Pakistani descent” “that serves Halal food” — but their affection was clear nonetheless.

*****

Crown Fried Chicken and Deli
231 Lyons Ave., (973) 923-4466
Yelp Rating: No rating.

NYPD says: Watch out at this “small fast food restaurant” serving “fried chicken and deli sandwiches”: “Location does not have any chairs or tables inside for customers.” Hope you like standing!

*****

Amin’s Halal Restaurant
430 Chancellor Ave., (973) 926-6150
Yelp Rating: No rating.

NYPD says: Get ready for some food after prayers at this “medium sized Chinese Halal restaurant” “located across the street from Masjid Ibrahim”! “Owned and operated by Muslims of Chinese descent,” Amin’s “has approximately three tables.”

*****

Kings Family Restaurant Inc.
327 Lyons Ave., (973) 926-2177
Yelp Rating: Three and a half stars. (“Sizeable portions,” says Ron B. of Denver.)

NYPD says: How about a party at Kings Family Restaurant Inc., “a large restaurant with seating for 45-50 customers”? This “traditional Halal diner” is “owned by persons of Turkish descent” — and don’t forget to bring some extra change: “location has a donation box inside for unknown Masjid.”

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  • Al

    Lol this is too funny!

  • Susie

    What…the hell…

  • Jack

    Well, but *everybody* knows Muslims use restaurants as hotspots for terrorism; just like Italians use pizza-parlors as the shady offices of Il Cosa Nostra, see? [Insert theme song from the Godfather]

    There’s a wonderful song by Tom Waits encapsulating the choking paranoia about the reclusive neighbour: ‘What’s he building?

    “What’s he building in there?
    What the hell is he building in there?

    He has subscriptions to those magazines…
    He never waves when he goes by…
    He’s hiding something from The rest of us…
    He’s all to himself…
    I think I know why…
    He took down the tire swing from the Peppertree
    He has no children of his
    Own you see… He has no dog
    And he has no friends and
    His lawn is dying…
    and what about all those packages he sends.

    What’s he building in there?
    With that hook light on the stairs…

    What’s he building In there?
    I’ll tell you one thing, h
    he’s not building a playhouse for the children…

    What’s he building in there?
    Now what’s that sound from under the door?
    He’s pounding nails into a hardwood floor…
    And I swear to God I heard someone moaning low…
    And I keep seeing the blue light of a T.V. show…
    He has a router and a table saw…
    And you won’t believe what Mr. Sticha saw
    There’s poison underneath the sink of course…
    But there’s also enough formaldehyde to choke a horse…

    What’s he building in there?
    What the hell is he building in there?

    I heard he Has an ex-wife in some place
    Called Mayors Income, Tennessee
    And he used to have a
    consulting business in Indonesia…
    but what is he building in there?
    What the hell is building in there?

    He has no friends… but he gets a lot of mail…
    I’ll bet he spent a little time in jail…
    I heard he was up on the roof last night,
    signaling with a flashlight
    And what’s that tune he’s always whistling…

    What’s he building in there?
    What’s he building in there?

    We have a right to know…

  • Farlowe

    Way too much chicken and dunkin donuts. Falafel is better. Mmmmmm, falafel.

  • The Cake Is A Lie

    Most of the restaurants are called “something fried chicken”. Does this mean American Muslims like chicken, or like KFC, more than others?

  • Persian

    I am concerned about the amount of fried chicken and pizza being served by Muslims. This is not healthy!

  • Sumaya

    LOL@Lisha’s article and @Jack Cope’s comment 🙂 I know this is a serious issue but I appreciate the light-hearted spin that has been placed on it.

  • Brother

    @Ibn Mikael Jazakallah for the reply. That is very true and hopefully, although I’m not holding my breath, people will stop this unwarranted bigotry and downright foolishness. However, we must also commend the NYPD for at least trying to be vigilant and protective.

  • I find this amusing; some very smart police officers have managed to get themselves free lunches while doing ‘surveillance work’. I hope they enjoyed it!

    Jack

  • jawad

    i say we start placing undercover spies in all churches, mosques, temples, synagogues, restaurants, hospitals and universities that have shady characters.

    its the only way to keep all of us safe

  • Ibn Mikael

    @ Brother

    Well of course none of US are actually surprised by this. Any Muslim with half a brain could have figured it out. If you go to any mosque on a Friday khutbah, it’s embarrassingly obvious that some of the people there are undercover cops. Sometimes they’re smart and they get some brown skinned guy, but most of the time it’s just clean-cut white guys that reek of cop-ness. The reason this is catching peoples’ attention is because it’s not just anecdotal evidence, but hard, documented evidence that police are spying on the entire Muslim community regardless of whether or not there is reasonable evidence for them to do so.

  • Brother

    I have a question to all my fellow brothers and sisters commenting on here: are you truly, genuinely surprised that Muslims are being spied on? Like seriously, go to your local mosque, or any Mosque, and I guarantee you’ll see at least ONE shady person. It’s not rocket science. It seems we’re spending more time being “outraged” and “surprised” than actually doing something about it. This is just my opinion. But hey, I’d rather be living in America than some of the other Muslim countries.

  • JT

    This is absolutely ridiculous. Aren’t these guys meant to be fighting crime or something? I know we Muslims make some awesome food but it’s not a threat to national security. Diarrhoea? Perhaps. Terrorism? No.

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