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Catholic Nun Forcibly Removed From Plane for Wearing “Muslim Garb”

Some What if she were Muslim comedy from Dr. Jalees?

Catholic Nun Forcibly Removed From Plane for Wearing “Muslim Garb”

By: Jalees Rehman, M.D.

April 5, 2011 DAYTON, OH – Sister Cora-Ann, a Catholic nun from the Our Lady of Grace Monastery in Dayton, Ohio got the surprise of her life yesterday, when she was asked to leave the plane she had just boarded at the Omaha International Airport. “I had just sat down in my seat, and started to thank God for our blessings and recite a prayer in Latin”, she recalled, when one of the passengers sitting next to me called the flight attendant. The passenger was Elizabeth Bennet, who later stated: “It is not that we were prejudiced, but she did seem very suspicious. She was dressed in Muslim garb and just before we were about to take off, she started mumbling something in an Arabian or Talibani-sounding language. What was I supposed to do?” Damien Thorn was a passenger seated in the adjacent row and said: “I knew there was something sinister about her, the moment she stepped into the plane. She was wearing those burqa clothes that you see the Iranian women wearing, and she only had a very small carry-on bag.” The flight attendant responded to the call and asked Sister Cora-Ann for her name, boarding pass and a photo ID.

Blanche Dubois was another passenger sitting close to Sister Cora-Ann and explained: “Once I heard that her name sounded like Koran, I got worried. That does not mean that there is anything wrong with me, does it? I just did not want to die. I was so scared, that I just yelled out her name to all passengers.” Mr. Okonkwo was a passenger seated a few rows behind and stated: “Once we all heard that the passenger’s name was Koran, things started falling apart.” Frodo Baggins, a frequent traveler, said he had heard that Muslims do not eat beef. “I did not think that she was Muslim, and to help her out, I took out some of my beef jerky and asked the lady to eat it to prove that she was not a Muslim.”

However, Sister Cora-Ann politely refused the beef jerky and reminded the other passengers that it was the time of Lent, during which Catholics often abstain from eating meat. The unrest in the plane kept growing, because most passengers were now convinced that Sister Cora-Ann was indeed Muslim and they demanded that Sister Cora-Ann leave the plane. “I did not want to cause my fellow humans any distress, so I left the plane”, she said.

“We were so happy that we could continue our journey”, said Frodo Baggins. “Once she de-boarded, it felt like a huge burden was lifted from us.” Apparently, there was indeed a Muslim on the plane, by the name of Abdullah Abdullah the 23rd, sitting in the last row. “Of course I knew that she was a Catholic nun and not a Muslim, because I went to a Catholic school and my favorite teachers were Catholic nuns.” Abdullah Abdullah went on to say “But let us face it: If you are a Muslim on a plane and someone else is being asked to leave the plane, the best thing is to be quiet and enjoy the show!”

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  • EMKAY

    i actually believd it until i read abt Okonkwo, da main character of a novel “things fall apart” and ofcoz Frodo Baggins who thot it wud be easier to use a plane instead of da long walk wid da wrong lol

  • Dehnus

    Frodo should be worried, I hear that in his home country Dwarf Women already life under Sharia Law ;). Infact I hear they live in a Matriarchal society where the women rule… pffft… so unchristian, then the women stay mostly indoors and when they come out cover themselves in scarves to not let the Elves and HUmans look at them with disdain and dishonour! And the man, like Muslims live by the Sword, live by the Axe. And often openly dislike Elves, they do tend to like Hobbits, so Frodo better be carefull who he befriends.

    For all we know it might be an ax weilding terrorist, with the strength of 2 humans, the durability of an Ox, The Craftsmanship of a German, the muscles and girth of a Russian Female Construction Worker but as tall as a Pigmee. After all they stated on multiple ocasions they do not trust Elves.

    (PS: I’m being sarcastic and I know this article is Satire ;))

  • Ksh

    Cora-Ann . is not the girl from anything ..
    Its supposed to be “Koran”
    say it fast .. Cora-Anne .. Koran .. lol

  • Lena Rose

    Okonkwo is the main character in Chinua Achebe’s “Things Fall Apart” — (with a nod to that book in his quote in the satire):

    Mr. Okonkwo was a passenger seated a few rows behind and stated: “Once we all heard that the passenger’s name was Koran, things started falling apart.”

  • Khushboo

    LOL Hilarious! Good thing I read the comments first. 😀

  • moose

    Cora Anne was the little girl in Poltergeist.

  • It’s PARODY. Elizabeth Bennet is a character from “Pride and Prejudice” and Blanche Dubois is a character from “A Streetcar named Desire,” by Tennessee Williams. I can’t believe some people actually thought this was real and even posted this many times on Facebook. get a clue…

  • Sumbowdy

    I honestly only realised it was satirical when I read “Frodo Baggins”.

  • RDS

    I see, now I get it XD

  • Mughalistan

    Funny

  • Anj

    Carol Anne is the little girl in the film poltergeist!

  • Anj

    My stab in the dark is corrected! 🙂

  • Everybody’s Dad

    @Anj

    That would be Reagan MacNeil/ Linda Blair actually…;)

  • Anj

    Cora Anne, little girl from the exorcist?

  • Syed

    Daniel Thorn is the creepy innocent looking kid from the Omen.
    Blanche Dubois is from ‘A street car named desire’.
    Mr. Okonkwo seems to be a senator from Nigeria.
    Abdullah Abdullah ran against Karzai in the Afghanistan elections.
    Elizabeth Bennet (as Farlowe pointed out) is from Pride and Prejudice.

    So my question is, “Who is sister Cora-Ann?”. 😉

  • Mosizzle

    Lol, Farlowe, it seems all of the characters have interesting names.

    “Damien Thorn was a passenger seated in the adjacent row and said: “I knew there was something sinister about her, the moment she stepped into the plane. She was wearing those burqa clothes that you see the Iranian women wearing, and she only had a very small carry-on bag.”

    Damien Thorn is the son of the devil from The Omen!

    I feel quite stupid now for not realising it was satire until the end with “Frodo Baggins” from Lord of the Rings.

  • Farlowe

    The passenger was Elizabeth Bennet, who later stated: “It is not that we were prejudiced…”

    LOL. Bennet is a character from “Pride and Prejudice” by Jane Austin.

  • Syed

    I was wondering if sister Cora-ann refers to some cult character like Frodo Baggins – so I googled “Sister Cora Ann”. Boy! It looks like there are a bunch of newspaper editors out there who did not get the joke. … LOL

  • Mosizzle

    Lol. Cora-Ann. I only found out it was meant to be a joke when he said “Frodo Baggins”.

  • Anj

    Everything looked about right until frodo showed up!
    Even the Cora Anne sounds like the Koran. Even then I though ok it’s luck you know osama, Obama kind of thing!
    Hat tip! Well written!

  • corey

    I think frodo needed to be searched as well considering some of the things he is carrying especially that ring of power he has with him because some very nice people from mordor are looking for it, that at least would have shown courtesy from the flight attendants by turning it over to some those nice hooded figures with the creepy voices waiting for his flight to land so they can give it to his rightful owner so he can resurrect himself and destroy all things good in the world of middle earth.

  • Ahmad

    lol, it’s a satire and i was laughing the entire time at the creative witness names…lmao

  • Al

    He he he… Frodo

  • mindy1

    The sad part is I can picture this happening 🙁

  • Dan

    It’s satire guys.

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